Vignettes

The Cop30 UN climate summit has patently been a roaring success! We can all rest easy in our beds...

On collecting Waitrose magazine from the checkout at the Burgess Hill branch – it’s not Hove...

St Davids day; and oddly we are heading for Scotland and the secluded Isle of Mull. Our target is a week of Tumeric enemas and tantric meditation at a retreat run by my great friend Guru Ashkar Heliabugghaa – a wise teacher and keen amateur pornographer.

Having been a loyal Guardian reader for practically all my adult life, I can say what the fuck I want about the organ.

The man next to me on the District Line is a monster. I cannot think of a suitable punishment that could fit his multiple crimes. ….

After a monstrous night on the Papua New Guinean absinthe I have been surgically attached to the sofa watching Bangers And Cash for over 36 hours….